alloutshirt:

no i didn’t skip that song because i don’t like it, i skipped it because i don’t have the emotional stability to listen to it now

anxietyproblem:

dajo42:

Advice podcast in a fantasy setting with questions like “I love my werewolf girlfriend but she has a fierce territorial dispute with the neighbour’s St Bernard. How can I let my girlfriend know I’m on her side and I love her but also let her know that I think she shouldn’t be arguing with a literal puppy without upsetting her”

misterandry:

in these times i will not be shamed for laughing at ted cruz getting out of mandatory quarantine, immediately shaking hands with an infected person, and being forced right back into mandatory quarantine 

phsfg:

bumbleshark:

“why do u like playing as support?” i enjoy the feeling of ppl needing me

I enjoy knowing that I can choose who lives and dies

circelline:

librius:

librius:

librius:

affdhbdfjojvtij im goNNA CRY

JELLYFISH IN SPANISH IS JUST “BAD WATER”

Listen, sometimes you’re swimming and you dont see the angry ocean ghost zap you, so you decide that its the water that hurts

erikaslytherin:

250 page book to do for an exam: oh my god it will take more than a month to finish it

fanfic + 100k: if I don’t eat and just watch the phone I think I can finish it in four hours…maybe less

my-insanity-is-an-artform:

shakespork:

my detested rival: why, madam, you look so drawn and pale today! does the small size of your estate not give you enough freedom to take in the sun?

me: listen you waxy, lemon-faced bitch,,

shakespork:

i know i wouldnt survive in an austen novel because someone would be britishly, discretely rude to me and i would be completely unable to restrain myself from calling them a cunt to their face

Rich, eccentric, elderly widow Lady peering over at the conversation: That one. That one shall be my heir.